For the first time in my life, my to-do list is empty. My inbox has zero emails (or it did this morning). In my budgeting app I’ve categorized all my recent transactions (and scrutinized them an unhealthy amount). I’ve been to the dentist, optometrist, and doctor for any necessary annual check-ups.

Until this year, I had an endless supply of externally-imposed goals. Between work and school, almost 100% of my productive time was spent working on requirements dictated by other people.

In December I graduated from ASU. After graduation I no longer had professors telling me what assignments to do or what topics to study. I no longer had my familiar to-do calendar which showed me the exact due dates.

I realized that I had to tell myself what to do now. And the first time I realized this, it felt very scary.

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